Judy Hakiel-Calcaterra, LMHC, Qualified Supervisor,
Call/text 954-947-1340
Couples/Marriage Counseling
Couples/Marriage counseling can improve your relationship
If you are struggling in your relationship,
there is help....and hope!
Have you and your partner been arguing way too much?
Has separation or divorce been brought up?
Have you started to have resentment against your partner?
Do your conversations attack each others character?
Has there been infidelity either physically or emotionally?
Has trust and respect been affected?
Has life gotten in the way of your relationship?
Do you feel that your relationship is just transactional?
Do you feel that your partner has changed?
Do you feel that having children affected your intimacy?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, couples counseling maybe a path you need to go down. Being in a relationship takes work. It takes time, it takes compromising, and it takes understanding each others needs and wants.
The difference between two brains
Watch this video....it will help explain the differences between a man's and woman's brain in a very comical way. I'm sure you and your partner have had many of these moments.
Feeling stuck in your relationship is not un-common
You have searched high and low and you found your special person. The one person you want to share your life with. The honeymoon stage was amazing, wonderful and everything you could have asked for. It had maybe a few bumps and challenges but you never thought you and your partner would go days without actually talking, without kissing, without any intimacy and feeling like you just want it to end. Daily life stressors can not only affect your personally but they can/do affect your partner. The thing you loved most about your partner is something you hate about your partner now?
When you feel like your partner doesn't understand you, when you feel like you can't say anything "right", when you feel that nothing is going the way you thought it would, when you feel like your partner is challenging you all in the wrong ways, resentment starts to build. You may be laying next to your partner every night but the distance between you and them is farther than you have ever felt. I bet you want to feel more connected with your partner.
Being in a healthy relationship should bring you joy and happiness more often than not. Has your relationship changed dramatically because of a life event such as children? Death of a loved one? Job change? Mid-life crisis?
We don't communicate anymore
During our first session most couples share with me that they feel that they don't communicate anymore. I tend to always disagree with them and share "You are communicating, but you are effectively communicating in a way that your partner needs and wants."
People can communicate in 5 different ways:
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Verbal
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Non-Verbal
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Visual
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Written
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Listening
Did you think that listening would be one of the 5 ways of communication. It definitely should be high on the communication scale. In some relationships we stop listening and will continue to use the other ways of communicating which then a partner may feel neglected, unheard, lack of acknowledgement, and the list continues.
Do you know your own love language? Do you know your partner's love language? Taking this simple quiz is definitely a good start in figuring out what you and your partner needs and wants are.
Therapy can help couples find their way back to effectively communicating. Developing new forms of communicating and effective conflict resolution can help grow your relationship into a healthy one.
For example, post it notes or a white board can be an effective way of non-verbal communication. It could be used for grocery items that are needed, a doctor's appointment that you may forget about it, or a to do list for the family.
Will couples/marriage counseling fix my relationship?
Couples who experience therapy together and have similar goals in mind will change and will help develop
a healthier relationship. Couples who come to therapy may already have their own goals in mind and they will
change in a different direction. Couples who come to therapy where therapy is their last option, may not get the result that they were looking for. I am not a magician. I am a therapist who can help guide you, help build and
help change your relationship in the way you both want it to.
Will therapy help us?
Therapy can definitely help. Setting initial goals is very helpful and especially helpful in couples/marriage therapy. My role as a couples/marriage counselor is not to solve your problems, not to be a referee but to help you and your partner become more effective communicators, process your feelings, help you both understand your own values and create couple and family values and goals.
Will Judy take sides?
My goal is to be a non-judgmental and not to take anyone's side. My responsibility is to create a place that is safe and comfortable place that you and your partner can share your feelings.
Does Judy work with same sex couples?
Yes! I have worked with with same sex couples.
Is Couples therapy expensive?
Therapy is an investment. If you or your partner have health insurance most plans cover family therapy. Check my Rates page to see if I take your insurance or if self pay is an option for you.
Is it time to start therapy?
If you have noticed changes in your relationship and want to work as a team again and improve your relationship, counseling can be a great start. With the right mind set, dedication and willingness for slight changes your relationship can be developed into a brand new desirable connection.
